Smart, Creative Ways Moms Are Finding Childcare
Because planting seeds and nurturing yourself takes time.
When my oldest was born, I chose to pause my career for motherhood, mostly because I wanted more time with him, less stress at home, and space to figure out who I was becoming. It also made financial sense for our family given my salary and the cost of childcare. According to the American Mothers on Pause (AMP) study we commissioned in 2023, 62 percent of stay-at-home and downshifted moms said childcare costs factored into their decision to leave or scale back paid work.
But there’s a risk here. We start to believe we should be “on” all the time, that we can pour into our families and build something for ourselves in the margins. Flexible work and side projects don’t happen on imaginary time. If we want to invest in our work and ourselves, we deserve real time to do it.
Part of that is reframing childcare. If you can, it helps to think of it as coming from the household income, not yours alone. It’s an investment in the whole family (I write more about this in Chapter 5 of The Power Pause). And when that’s not accessible, there are ways to get creative. When we asked our community, the ideas were thoughtful and generous. One favorite: a group of friends who rotate date nights, sharing childcare across families. It lowers the cost and builds real community. I met them at the Marin book tour stop.
Still, the tension is real. In the AMP study, 59 percent of at-home and downshifted mothers said the cost of childcare was a barrier to hiring help, and 37 percent said they felt guilt paying for it when they weren’t earning an income.
So we asked women in the Power Pause community and beyond to share how they’re making it work. Here’s what they had to say.
Creative Ways Real Moms Save Money on Childcare
1. Opt for Co-Working Fridays
On Fridays, when their 4-year-olds are off from preschool, Sarah W., a mom of three in Chattanooga, Tennessee, and a friend spend the day working side-by-side while their little ones play. They take turns going to one another’s houses and also trade off handling interruptions, getting up to help the kids when needed. “It’s not perfect and sometimes we talk more than work. But it’s definitely easier to get things done when the kids play together,” Sarah says.
2. Utilize Gym Daycare
Several parents chimed in to sing the praises of gym daycares. Rather than using the time to exercise, they set themselves up with their laptops to log some work hours from the gym. While Mara L., a mom of two in Detroit, Michigan, noted the cost of child care at her gym was $95 each month, the price came in far lower, she said, than if she had hired a nanny.
3. Rotate Babysitting
A rotating babysitting schedule is one mom group’s answer to the perennial question, when will I have time for myself? Four women with part-time jobs banded together to trade child care, each one signing up for one weekday to host all the kids in their home.
“It can be a circus sometimes, but doing this gives us all three work days to focus in a quiet house,” says Maggie G., a mom of two in Chicago, Illinois. “We’re sharing the load and supporting each other.”
It can be a circus sometimes, but doing this gives us all three work days to focus in a quiet house. We’re sharing the load and supporting each other.
4. Try a Nanny Share
Setting up a nanny share with like-minded families is one way to cut costs on regular child care. Beth G., a mom of three in Chicago, Illinois, shares that she and two other parents got together to hire a caregiver to watch all three of their children who are too young for school. An added bonus? The kids have the opportunity to socialize and have developed deep bonds by spending so much time together.
5. Trade the Date Night Shift
Planning a date night? One group of neighborhood moms trades off night time babysitting, beginning their caregiving duties only after the kids are in bed. This setup affords each couple the opportunity to plan a night out–without asking too much of one another.
When daily parenting gets me down, I know that time to recharge is coming.
6. Take Turns With Your Partner
One couple built individual time off into their partnership, scheduling one night off from parenting duties for each of them every week. “It’s life-changing to know that I have a set date on the calendar that’s just for me,” says Alyssa S., a mom of one in Duluth, Minnesota. “When daily parenting gets me down, I know that time to recharge is coming.”
7. Schedule Screen Time
Plenty of parents piped up to say that Netflix is their babysitter of choice. While there may be drawbacks to excessive screen use, scheduling structured time for a show or two allows the whole family to enjoy some downtime.
In Ann Arbor, Michigan, Emily P., a mom of two, has a set time for turning on two episodes of Daniel Tiger. Every day before dinner, the TV goes on, giving Emily enough time to put a meal together—or simply sit and enjoy the silence.
“Thank goodness for Daniel Tiger! He takes over childcare in the late afternoon, just as my kids are getting cranky,” Emily says. “He gives me enough time to collect myself so that I don’t lose my cool when patience is running thin at the end of the day.”
8. Hire a ‘Mother’s Helper’
For a fraction of the cost of a typical babysitter or nanny, a mother’s helper comes in to play with your little ones while you’re at home. Several moms swear by this method, noting their go-to sources for this role are junior high-aged neighbors and young family friends.
“A seventh grade kid in the neighborhood comes by on Tuesdays for three hours after school. It’s enough time for me to catch a breather from my non-stop toddler, handle tasks like making dinner, or answer emails,” says Lisa J., a mom of one in Chicago, IL.
9. Make Use of After Care
When we think of after care at school or daycare, we tend to assume these programs are reserved for parents who work outside the home and can’t get to pick-up when the bell rings. But Liza S. in Boston, MA, says enrolling her daughters in after care for two hours each week has been a game changer.
“I work 30 hours a week from home and my schedule is very flexible. So I have a tendency to check Slack and answer emails when I’m playing with my girls, which they hate, understandably,” Liza says. Though she doesn’t need after care, she says it is an affordable way to keep her children entertained for those extra long work days. And when she picks them up, work is complete and she can be fully present.
10. Check Out Community Options
“Our community center offers a two-hour block of childcare on Sunday mornings and it’s super inexpensive,” says Erika W., a mom of two in St. Paul, Minnesota. “My sister and I drop our 5-year-olds there for a morning of crafts and activities, and we grab coffee with our husbands and catch up.” Several moms shared that local churches, schools, and nonprofits in their communities provide similar services. To determine if such a program exists near you, check your neighborhood newspaper, church bulletin, and local Facebook groups.
In addition to the gym kids club I use restaurants with a play area. My 4 year old is in the phase where no else can talk without her being the center of conversation. So just even to sit and catch up or get work done.
Thanks for sharing Neha! A lot of great ideas in here. I loved your book and was so excited to see you had a Substack. Me and my husband take the trade off strategy a step further and trade off trips to go see friends for a weekend trip since we don't have family available to watch our kids overnight it gives us both a chance to get quality time with friends and a kid free vacation a few times a year.